I Write Sins Not Tragedies
by FollowTheReaper01
Summary: For a man who was so honest-he kept an awful lot to himself. (A Eli Loker Character Study) High T Rating and Warning for molestation of a minor


**Author Notes: First time writing for Lie To Me...at 3am...this was a rough draft I really wanted to write...Okay it was actually the lazy version of a story idea I had. So if this drabble gets any traction I'll have at it XD**

For a man so honest-he kept an awful lot to himself.

No one ever asked him about his past.

If they did, Eli would throw them off with a small kernel of truth.

Or something big yet widely unrelated.

It was the worst place to have secrets.

These people could find dirt in a sand storm.

No joke.

He was pretty sure Cal Lightman knew everything there was to know about him.

But knew it wasn't a "lie" worth sharing.

Loker never lied.

That came with the job description of being Radically Honest.

He blabbed.

He was a blabber.

But kept so much to himself.

If anyone so much as mentioned Loker's childhood all micro-signs of pain flaired up on his co-workers radar.

They knew not to ask.

Eli Loker came from a aristocratic family.

His mom died when he was five years old.

No siblings.

But he had lots of pets.

Mostly dogs.

Cats never liked him.

His most traumatic memory was when he was around 8 or 12.

Eli's father was playing poker and entertaining guests downstairs.

The man had about 3 girlfriends at one time.

That's not counting a few flings.

They all had met and loved 8 year old Elijah Loker.

Thought he was the most handsome little boy to ever walk the earth.

Who was too young to understand.

That when they crept up stairs into his bedroom chambers it wasn't a social call to check up on him.

It wasn't motherly affection.

It wasn't appropriate.

_It was wrong._

And highly illegal.

Quite a few of his father's girlfriends and even stepmothers molested him until he was 12 years old.

Eli was sent off to boarding school for four and a half years.

At age 15 he had a romantic affair with a 35 year old women.

Who happened to be his father's mistress.

They were found out and Loker was completely cut off from his family's money.

Military school in DC came Next.

Colleges and post-graduate jobs...

Then he came to work for Lightman.

A man who saw everything.

No matter how hard you tried to hide.

Loker laid everything on the table.

He thought spilling the unimportant things would shake these people off his trail.

It seemed to work fine.

But whenever a sexual-assault case came up Cal and Gillian saw his pain.

The recognizable shimmer in his blue eyes.

The repeated grinding of his jaw.

Fist clenching.

Torress' reaction suggested she had suffered some sort of attack in the past as well.

He didn't know how bad it was.

She got angry.

Most people would have taken themselves off the case.

Like Eli Loker.

Who remained silent as a grave about his past miseries.

Cal just looked at him like a intriguing specimen in a bottle.

But Loker never lied.

He didn't have to.

No one asked, "Hey Loker, how are the results coming? By the way-were you raped or molested by much much older woman? Just wondering."

He often thought about what he would say.

He could always deflect.

Deflection worked.

Until 5 months later.

One of them...one of his first attackers was a suspect.

And Eli walked right into the room as Lightman and Gillian were busy talking to her.

He stopped dead.

Face turning a ghostly palor.

Loker had little recovery time from the sudden shock.

Terror and raw panic flashed on his face for everyone to see.

It was too late.

_He had to get out of that room._

Eli's heart thundered.

He grappled for a wall or any support to lean on.

He barely made it to a trash bin before throwing up his entire stomach contents.

The young man struggled to get his breathing under control.

It was dangerously leaning into hyperventilation territory.

_No_...

_NO_...

**NO**!

He had this under control!

Eli always had his emotions under control.

What happened to him as a child was no big deal.

He could handle it.

So why was he reacting like this?

"Loker?"

He felt a hand on his back.

Torres.

"What?" He wiped his mouth, afraid to turn around.

"I...are you alright?"

Sometimes he _hated_ the Radical Honesty thing.

Eli turned around, "Ask me another question."

She wasn't expecting the anguished expression on his face, "...Do...do you know that woman in there?"

"_Knew_. She was one of my father's many mistresses."

"Oh," _shock_. "Okay...um...that doesn't really explain your extreme reaction."

"You're right," He smiled. It never wrinkled the corners of his mouth and eyes, "-It doesn't."

Ria now looked really worried, "You know...if you ever wanna talk...I'm here."

He nodded.

Walking off and keeping his head down.

Eli Loker was a man with many secrets.

Surrounded by people who could see every single one.

In a way, he did it on purpose.

He wanted someone to know.

Who never spoke of it or looked at him in pity.

Kind of like Cal Lightman.

After all...they all had their own personal tragedies.

_A little white lie couldn't hurt._

**Fin**.


End file.
